Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Rant

This is only a rant, just needing to write, needing to let it out! I'm not even sure I'll post it, i just know that i hate not knowing, not having answers! I just feel so lost, i feel like a failure, as if I'm not doing something right or maybe I'm just doing everything wrong!
Jesus is sick again and once again its his lungs, he's having a hard time breathing, he is having fevers, and no one can tell me how to make it all go away. how to help him stop getting sick! he has seen over 6 doctors just for this one thing his breathing/lungs and no one can help all the doctors say is his lungs are just so damaged we need to let them heal! he is on over 5 medications to help his lungs.
all i want to know is how are they going to heal if he keeps getting sick!
Why why why why why!
I'm so scared so scared that one day his lungs just wont be able to handle it no more! I just want my baby to be ok, and i Pray i pray for him to be ok and i hope, i beg and i plead and i do everything i can and yet he is still sick he is still fighting to breath.
I don't know what Else to do!
i just don't!

6 comments:

Our Journey said...

does he have a fundo? remember that im here for you, you have my number!! anytime!

Our Journey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nicky said...

Hey Angelica. I know that this might sound weak, but just keep on praying...and I know that you do but remember that God knows what's in our hearts and when we pray, we really HAVE TO believe that He really can answer our prayers, we have to believe it 100% and sometimes our fear and worries get in the way of that...I am speaking from experience now, so I know too well what you are going through :-) You are not a failure, you are a super strong Mommy even tho you don't always feel that way and we will keep praying for Jesus as well.

"I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." Mark 11:24

Kristi said...

Sweet Angelica, You are not a failure. None of this is your fault. You can't control what is happening. You can't make it go away. All you can do is hold on. Hold on and don't let go. Keep fighting, keep believing and keep hoping. Praying for you and Jesus.. All my support, Kristi.

Cindy said...

Hugs, Angelica. It is terribly hard. You have done everything you can do and now all you can do is give it to God. He cares for Jesus and will keep him. Put your burden on Him, and he will carry the burden instead of you.

I'm praying for Jesus' healing and your encouragement.

Christine said...

Angelica,

As others have already said you are a super mom. None of this is your doing and you can't blame yourself. It's terribly hard. No one has a harder time dealing with an ill child than a mother because sometimes we feel so helpless. Keep praying, don't ever give up. I too am praying for your family and especially for Jesus. Sending you a big hug.